The Committed Believer · Parents, Kinship & Neighbours

Islamic Guidance on Family and Neighbor Relations

Test your understanding of Islamic rulings on family interactions and neighborly conduct.

8 questions · Medium · about 4 minutes

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8 questions, about 4 minutes.

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Show questions and answers Spoilers: every answer and explanation for all 8 questions.

1. What is the Islamic ruling on fairness in giving gifts to grandchildren?

  • Grandparents should be fair in gifts to grandchildren who would inherit from them. (correct answer)
  • Grandparents should favour the grandchildren they see less often.
  • Grandparents must give gifts only to grandchildren who live nearby.
  • Gifts to grandchildren have no fairness requirement.

Why

Fairness is required when giving gifts to relatives who would inherit, and this includes grandchildren in the relevant cases. Favouring some over others in gifts may create resentment, envy, and harm between relatives. If grandparents are unfair, the matter should be addressed subtly and respectfully, not by speaking harshly to parents. The child should also encourage their own children to respect and honour their grandparents and seek reward from Allah.

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2. What may a woman do if her husband prevents her from visiting her relatives?

  • Uphold ties through greetings, letters, gifts, or a third party if possible. (correct answer)
  • Cut off her relatives completely.
  • Visit without any concern for his permission in every case.
  • Stop all kinship duties because she is married.

Why

A husband should not prevent his wife from upholding kinship ties, but a wife should not go out except with his permission. If he prevents visits but allows greetings, letters, gifts, or contact through someone else, she should maintain ties through those means. If he blocks every form of kinship contact, then she should still uphold ties in the least objectionable way she can, even if discreetly when there is fear of harm.

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3. If a wife wants to visit or serve her parents but is prevented by her husband, may she still be rewarded?

  • Yes, she may be rewarded for her sincere intention. (correct answer)
  • No, because only completed actions are rewarded.
  • Only if she disobeys him and visits anyway.
  • Only if her parents demand that she come.

Why

Honouring parents is required from both sons and daughters. Some forms of honouring may be harder for a married woman because her husband may prevent frequent visits. If she sincerely wants to visit or serve her parents but is prevented by a valid excuse or by her husband, she may be rewarded for that good intention. The husband should treat his wife kindly and help her honour her parents where possible.

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4. What happens to a person’s good deeds if they disobey their parents?

  • The deeds remain valid, but the person is in serious danger because of the sin. (correct answer)
  • All good deeds are automatically invalidated.
  • Only prayers are invalidated.
  • The sin has no serious consequence.

Why

Disobeying parents is a grave major sin and exposes a person to severe warnings. However, it does not automatically invalidate prayers, fasting, charity, Qur’an recitation, or other righteous deeds. Good deeds are completely invalidated by major shirk, not by every major sin. The person must still repent from disobedience to parents, seek reconciliation, and strive to honour them properly.

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5. What should be explained to someone who refuses to speak to or reconcile with their parents?

  • Disobeying parents is a major sin and may bring Allah’s punishment. (correct answer)
  • Silent treatment is allowed if the child feels angry.
  • Parents lose all rights when they make mistakes.
  • Reconciliation is unnecessary if siblings are tired of trying.

Why

Parents have great rights, and honouring them includes kind speech, humility, obedience in what is right, and avoiding hurtful words or actions. Disobeying parents is one of the major sins. A person who mistreats or boycotts parents should be reminded of Allah, the texts warning against disobedience, and the importance of honouring parents. Advice should be offered through different means, while also looking for the causes of the behaviour and trying to resolve them.

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6. What should someone do if their father tells them to cut off ties with their mother?

  • Honour both parents and not obey the order to cut off the mother. (correct answer)
  • Obey the father because his command always takes priority.
  • Cut off both parents to avoid conflict.
  • Honour only the parent who raised them.

Why

A child must honour both parents and treat both kindly. Obedience to parents is required only in what is in accordance with Islamic teachings; if one parent commands the child to cut off the other parent, that command is not obeyed. A person may use wisdom and discretion to honour both parents without causing unnecessary anger or conflict, but honouring one parent must not mean severing ties with the other.

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7. What is the primary obligation toward one’s biological father, even if he behaved poorly?

  • Maintain kind treatment, respect, and obedience in what is right. (correct answer)
  • Obey him in all matters, even sinful ones.
  • Publicly praise everything he did.
  • Replace his rights completely with the rights of a stepfather or caregiver.

Why

A biological father has rights over his child even if he behaved badly, did wrong, or persisted in sin. His right to kind treatment and obedience in what is right remains established by Islamic texts. If he has died, honouring him continues through du‘a, seeking forgiveness for him, giving charity on his behalf, carrying out valid wishes, and maintaining ties that come through him. A mother’s husband or caregiver who raised the child should also be honoured and treated kindly, and charity or Hajj may be done on his behalf, but the biological father’s rights remain greater.

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8. What is the ruling on praying behind a father whose bid‘ah does not take him out of Islam?

  • It is permissible and the prayer is valid. (correct answer)
  • It is forbidden in every case.
  • It is only valid if he first changes his views.
  • The son should pretend to pray to avoid offending him.

Why

Rejecting the Sunnah is a very serious matter. If a person rejects the Sunnah in a way that takes him out of Islam, then prayer behind him is not valid. But if his bid‘ah or mistaken interpretation does not take him out of Islam, then prayer behind him is valid. A son should advise his father with patience, respect, and gentleness, following the example of Ibraaheem عليه السلام in addressing his father courteously and with concern.

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A note on these answers

These questions are for learning and self-testing. Explanations are drawn from the sources linked on each question and are not a fatwa. For a ruling on your own circumstances, please consult a qualified scholar.

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