The Committed Believer · Raising Children

Islamic Approaches to Child Behavior Management

Test your knowledge on managing children's behavior and upbringing in Islam.

7 questions · Medium · about 4 minutes

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7 questions, about 4 minutes.

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Show questions and answers Spoilers: every answer and explanation for all 7 questions.

1. What is the ruling on a child who prays or avoids sin only because they fear or want to please a parent?

  • It depends on whether they also intend to please Allah. (correct answer)
  • The act is always accepted even without intending Allah.
  • The child is rewarded for showing off to people.
  • Avoiding sin for Allah and avoiding sin for people are exactly the same.

Why

Acts of worship are accepted only when done sincerely for Allah and in accordance with Islamic teachings. If a child prays only to please a parent and has no intention of pleasing Allah, then the prayer is not accepted as worship. But if the main intention is to please Allah, while pleasing the parents is a secondary motive, then the prayer is accepted, in sha Allah. Similarly, refraining from sin is rewarded when done for Allah’s sake, but not when done merely to show off to people.

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2. What should parents pay attention to so that a child grows up with barakah from the beginning?

  • Providing halal food, drink, and clothing. (correct answer)
  • Providing wealth without concern for its source.
  • Delaying religious influence until the child is older.
  • Relying only on school education.

Why

Parents should obey Allah and seek His help so that their child grows up righteous. One important means is ensuring that the child’s food, drink, and clothing are halal, because barakah descends through halal provision. Parents should also make the child used to hearing Qur’an from an early age, recite near the child, and later arrange proper Qur’an teaching when the child is able to memorize.

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3. What should parents do if a child becomes seriously disobedient and rebellious?

  • Use reminders, advice, patience, du‘a, righteous company, and appropriate escalation if harm continues. (correct answer)
  • Ignore the behaviour and hope it disappears.
  • Publicly shame the child as the first response.
  • Give up on advising and praying for the child.

Why

Parents should first try harder to guide a disobedient child through reminders, sincere advice, patience, du‘a, good companions, and righteous people who may be able to influence the child. Family members should help with wisdom and gentleness. If the child’s evil and harm increase and ordinary advice does not work, the family should not ignore the danger; they may escalate through stronger discipline, seeking help from responsible relatives, or involving authorities if needed to prevent greater harm.

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4. What should be the initial response when parents discover that a child has stolen something?

  • Remain calm and use the situation as a teaching opportunity. (correct answer)
  • Immediately shame the child publicly.
  • Ignore the incident completely.
  • Assume the child will certainly become a thief.

Why

A young child may steal for different reasons, so parents should not react with panic, public shame, or uncontrolled anger. They should remain calm and use the incident to teach the child. The child should be reminded that Allah is always watching, taught the seriousness of stealing, helped to understand the feelings of the person whose property was taken, and required to return the stolen item, apologize, or make up for it if needed. Supervision may also be increased.

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5. Why might a young child steal something?

  • They may not clearly understand the difference between borrowing and stealing. (correct answer)
  • They are certainly evil by nature.
  • They must always be imitating criminals.
  • They cannot be taught to respect property.

Why

A young child may steal because the idea of personal ownership is not yet clear, or because they do not understand the difference between borrowing and stealing. Other possible reasons include feeling deprived of things others have, trying to attract attention, or reacting emotionally toward parents. Parents should therefore identify the motive, explain the ruling, remind the child that Allah sees all actions, and teach them how to ask properly when they want something.

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6. What wording should be avoided when a child is placed with a relative to be raised?

  • Saying the child was “given” or “presented” as a gift. (correct answer)
  • Saying the relative is helping raise or look after the child.
  • Saying the child’s real father remains his father.
  • Saying the parents will keep asking about the child.

Why

It may be permissible for a relative, such as a paternal aunt, to raise and care for a child if the child’s real lineage, name, inheritance rights, and other Islamic rulings are preserved. What is prohibited is attributing the child to someone other than the real father or treating false lineage as binding. The source advises avoiding wording such as “giving” the child, because a child is not owned and cannot be given like a gift. Better wording is that the relative is “raising,” “looking after,” or “caring for” the child. The real parents should also maintain contact and not cut themselves off from the child.

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7. What is one serious consequence of parents falling short in raising their children?

  • Children may become defiant and mistreat their parents. (correct answer)
  • Children automatically become unable to learn religious duties.
  • Children are denied Paradise only because of their parents’ neglect.
  • Parents no longer have any rights over their children.

Why

Children have rights over their parents, just as parents have rights over their children. Among the most important rights of children is that parents give them a good upbringing, teach them manners and religion, and follow up with them in worldly matters in a way that helps them live a dignified and righteous life. When parents neglect this duty, they may later suffer the consequences through defiant disobedience and mistreatment from their children. However, a parent’s shortcomings do not make it permissible for the child to mistreat them; the child must still treat parents kindly.

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A note on these answers

These questions are for learning and self-testing. Explanations are drawn from the sources linked on each question and are not a fatwa. For a ruling on your own circumstances, please consult a qualified scholar.

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