The Committed Believer · Kindness in the Family

Marital Conduct and Rights in Islam

Explore rights and responsibilities between spouses regarding neglect, intimacy, and maintenance.

8 questions · Medium · about 4 minutes

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8 questions, about 4 minutes.

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1. What may a wife do if her husband leaves her for a very long time and neglects his duties?

  • Refer the matter to the qaadi and ask for divorce to avoid harm. (correct answer)
  • Assume she is sinful for asking for any solution.
  • Publicly shame him as the first step.
  • Accept abandonment forever because divorce is never allowed.

Why

A husband should not leave his wife for so long that she is neither truly married nor divorced. Such neglect harms the wife and children and may lead to serious consequences. If he does this, she has the right to refer the matter to the qaadi and ask for divorce to avoid harm. If she chooses patience hoping Allah will guide him, there is no sin on her, provided that her separation from him does not expose her to temptation.

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2. What should a wife do if she feels anxious because her husband is busy with work?

  • Be optimistic, ask Allah for guidance and help, and understand each spouse’s rights. (correct answer)
  • Demand that he quit work immediately.
  • Assume the marriage has failed before trying to improve it.
  • Spread complaints about him among relatives.

Why

If the husband is religiously committed and of good character, the wife should be optimistic and avoid letting fear and worry dominate her. Work taking much time is common, but a wise husband should balance earning a living with family rights. The source reminds the wife of her rights, such as maintenance and kind treatment, and of his rights, such as obedience and good treatment. It also advises du‘a, seeking Allah’s help, and consulting trustworthy people if needed.

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3. What is a husband’s obligation regarding intimacy with his wife?

  • To have intercourse with her according to what satisfies her, so long as it does not harm him or prevent him from earning a living. (correct answer)
  • To ignore her need for intimacy as long as he provides maintenance.
  • To limit intimacy to once every four months in every case.
  • To demand more than she can physically bear.

Why

The husband is obliged to treat his wife kindly, and part of kind treatment is fulfilling her right to intimacy. The stronger view cited is that this is not restricted to once every four months; rather, he should have intercourse with her according to what satisfies her, provided it does not harm him physically or prevent him from earning a living. At the same time, he must not force her to do more than she can bear or cause her harm.

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4. What is a wife’s obligation when her husband calls her to permitted intimacy?

  • She should respond unless she has a legitimate shar‘i excuse. (correct answer)
  • She may refuse whenever she does not feel desire.
  • She must agree to anything repulsive or harmful.
  • She has no obligation in this matter after marriage.

Why

A wife should not refuse her husband’s call to permitted intimacy without a legitimate shar‘i excuse, such as menstruation, postnatal bleeding, sickness, or harm. The source also makes an important limit clear: a husband may not force his wife into something repulsive or something that may involve impurity, and he should seek intimacy in the manner Allah has permitted. Persistent refusal without excuse may be nushooz and may waive maintenance.

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5. If a husband is absent during one wife’s allocated night, what must he do when he returns?

  • Make up the missed night or what remains of it. (correct answer)
  • Treat her turn as automatically waived.
  • Choose any wife he wants and restart the schedule.
  • Make her draw lots for a new turn.

Why

When a husband divides nights among his wives, each wife has a right to her allocated night. If he is absent for a complete night or a long part of it because of travel, imprisonment, work, or even without an excuse, the wife’s right is not waived. When he returns, he must go back to the wife whose turn it was and stay overnight with her, or complete what remains of her night, so that justice is maintained.

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6. If a woman in revocable ‘iddah waives future maintenance, then changes her mind during the ‘iddah, what may she claim?

  • Maintenance from the time she changes her mind until the end of the ‘iddah. (correct answer)
  • All past maintenance that she already waived.
  • No maintenance at all, because future maintenance can always be waived permanently.
  • Maintenance only if the divorce was in return for compensation.

Why

A woman observing ‘iddah after a revocable talaq is entitled to maintenance and accommodation. If she is an adult of sound mind and waives maintenance that has already become due, that waiver is valid. But future maintenance is renewed day by day, so waiving future maintenance does not cancel what has not yet become due. If she changes her mind during ‘iddah, she is entitled to maintenance from that point until the end of the ‘iddah.

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7. What is the ruling on a husband pressuring his wife through false accusations so that she gives up part of her mahr?

  • It is haram, and he has no right to what she gives up under such pressure. (correct answer)
  • It is permissible whenever he feels suspicious.
  • It becomes valid if he repeats the accusation many times.
  • It is allowed if he has no witnesses and does not engage in li‘aan.

Why

Accusing a chaste wife regarding her honour is a major sin unless the husband brings the required shar‘i proof or engages in li‘aan. Pressuring her through false accusations, annoyance, or harm so that she gives up her mahr is al-‘adl and is haram. If the husband lies and wrongs her, what he takes is evil and haram, and he has no right to stipulate that she give up part of the mahr.

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8. What is the ruling on a husband shunning his wife for five months when she has not been defiantly disobedient?

  • It is not permissible. (correct answer)
  • It is permissible without restriction.
  • It is required before any divorce.
  • It cancels all of her marital rights automatically.

Why

A husband may shun his wife as part of the prescribed steps only when she is defiantly disobedient and does not fulfil his rights. If there is no nushooz, shunning her for such a long time is not permissible. The husband must keep his wife chaste and have intercourse with her according to her need and his ability. If he refuses intimacy for more than four months without a valid reason and causes harm, the matter may come under the rulings related to ila’.

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A note on these answers

These questions are for learning and self-testing. Explanations are drawn from the sources linked on each question and are not a fatwa. For a ruling on your own circumstances, please consult a qualified scholar.

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