The Committed Believer · Kindness in the Family

Family Kindness and Responsibilities in Islam

Learners explore kindness and financial duties within Islamic family dynamics.

9 questions · Medium · about 4 minutes

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9 questions, about 4 minutes.

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1. What should a husband do if his wife complains that he is disturbing her sleep?

  • Treat her kindly and avoid depriving her of needed rest. (correct answer)
  • Ignore her complaints because only his schedule matters.
  • Demand that she stay awake whenever he wants.
  • Divorce her for asking to sleep.

Why

Married life should be based on mutual understanding, love, compassion, and kind treatment. In the case described, the husband was advised that his wife has a right to sleep and that he should not disturb her or spoil the quality of her rest. The source also reminds the wife not to raise her voice when asking for her rights, but places clear responsibility on the husband to act with kindness and decency.

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2. What should a husband do when his mother mistreats his wife?

  • Be fair, advise his mother gently, and encourage forgiveness without enabling ongoing harm. (correct answer)
  • Force his wife to keep visiting even if the mistreatment continues.
  • Side with his mother in every case, even when she is unjust.
  • Cut off his mother completely and stop treating her kindly.

Why

The husband should handle the conflict with wisdom, fairness, and patience. He should remind both sides of their rights, encourage his wife to forgive and overlook, and advise his mother gently if she is mistreating the wife or her family. If the mother persists in causing harm, the husband should not enable that harm by forcing his wife to visit her. If they happen to meet, the wife should give salam and return salam, while the husband continues to honour his mother and treat her properly.

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3. What should a Muslim do when their father mistreats them?

  • Continue advising him with wisdom while still treating him kindly. (correct answer)
  • Seek revenge for the mistreatment.
  • Cut off all duties toward him because of his bad conduct.
  • Let grief over him cause neglect of one’s own obligations.

Why

A Muslim should keep advising a mistreating father and reminding him of what Allah has enjoined upon him. If he does not accept advice directly, other methods may be tried, such as advice through relatives, friends, or beneficial reminders. At the same time, children must still treat parents well and honour them, even when parents fall short, while not allowing grief to make them neglect worship or marital duties.

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4. What should a Muslim do when voluntary da‘wah activities conflict with family responsibilities?

  • Give priority to obligatory family duties and balance all rights. (correct answer)
  • Leave the family unsafe and call that tawakkul.
  • Ignore the wife and children because da‘wah is always more important.
  • Travel regularly for voluntary work even if the family is harmed.

Why

The people most deserving of a person’s care, protection, concern, upbringing, and da‘wah are the members of their own household. A Muslim should balance rights and give priority to obligations over recommended acts. If the family is unsafe or fears fitnah, the husband should stay with them unless there is absolute necessity, and he should find ways to do good deeds and da‘wah locally without neglecting them.

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5. Who is responsible for spending on children’s maintenance during custody?

  • The father. (correct answer)
  • The mother in every case.
  • The extended family before the father.
  • The child, even if the child has no wealth.

Why

Maintenance for children during custody is the father’s duty. Custody belongs to both parents while they are married; if divorce occurs, the mother has more right to custody according to scholarly consensus, so long as the relevant conditions remain. After custody ends, the duty of maintenance may still continue in some cases, such as a poor adult child or a daughter until marriage according to the view cited.

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6. If a married daughter has surplus wealth and her parents are poor, what must she do?

  • Spend on her parents according to their needs, without neglecting her own needs. (correct answer)
  • Refuse to help them because she is married.
  • Make her husband spend on them from his own wealth.
  • Give them zakah instead of the obligatory support she owes.

Why

If parents are poor and the daughter has wealth beyond her own needs, she must spend on them according to their needs. Her own maintenance remains the duty of her husband, and if she works, her money is hers unless there was an agreed condition connected to her working. Her husband is not obliged to spend on her parents from his own wealth, though he may give them his zakah if they are eligible.

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7. Until when is a father obliged to spend on young children who have no wealth of their own?

  • Until they reach adulthood. (correct answer)
  • Only until they begin school.
  • Only while they live in the same house.
  • Only if the mother has no income.

Why

Scholars agreed that the father is obliged to spend on his small children who have no wealth until they reach adulthood. He must also spend on incapable children until they become independent, whether they are young or old. A father does not have to spend on a child who has independent wealth, and scholars differed regarding some adult children, such as a poor adult son who is able to work.

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8. Which Qur’anic verse is cited as evidence that a father must spend on his child?

  • “And if they breastfeed for you, then give them their payment” [At-Talaq 65:6]. (correct answer)
  • “You alone we worship” [Al-Fatihah 1:5].
  • “Say: He is Allah, One” [Al-Ikhlas 112:1].
  • “Indeed, We sent it down” [Al-Qadr 97:1].

Why

The verse about paying for breastfeeding indicates that the father is obliged to cover the child’s maintenance. The source also states that if the father is alive and wealthy, he alone is obliged to spend on the children, not the mother. It also extends the discussion to grandchildren: according to the majority view cited, spending on poor grandchildren may be obligatory if the grandfather is wealthy.

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9. What minimum maintenance must a father provide for young children who have no wealth?

  • Essentials such as food, drink, clothing, and basic needs according to custom. (correct answer)
  • A fixed amount that never changes between families.
  • Only food and nothing else.
  • Every non-essential luxury they request.

Why

Islamic texts do not set one fixed amount for child maintenance, because needs vary by people’s circumstances, ability, and local custom. What is required is what the community reasonably regards as essential maintenance, including food, drink, clothing, transportation, basic education, and similar needs. Non-essential luxuries are not part of the minimum obligation.

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A note on these answers

These questions are for learning and self-testing. Explanations are drawn from the sources linked on each question and are not a fatwa. For a ruling on your own circumstances, please consult a qualified scholar.

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