The Death of a Parent

The Command to Worship Allah Alone and to be Dutiful to One's Parents Allah commands us to worship Him alone, with no partner or associate. The word Qada normally having the meaning of decree here means "commanded". Mujahid said that وَقُضِىَ (And He has Qada) means enjoined. This is also how Ubayy bin Ka`b, Ibn Mas`ud and Ad-Dahhak bin Muzahim recited the Ayah as: «وَوَصَّى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاه» "And your Lord has Wassa enjoined that you worship none but Him." The idea of worshipping Allah is connected to the idea of honoring one's parents. Allah says: وَبِالْوَلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا (And that you be dutiful to your parents.) Here He commands good treatment of parents, as He says elsewhere: أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ الْمَصِيرُ (give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination) 31:14 إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ (If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect,) means, do not let them hear anything offensive from you, not even say "Uff!" which is the mildest word of disrespect, وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا (and do not reprimand them) means, do not do anything horrible to them. وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا (and do not reprimand them) `Ata' bin Rabah said that it meant, "Do not raise your hand against them." When Allah forbids speaking and behaving in an obnoxious manner, He commands speaking and behaving in a good manner, so He says: وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا (but address them in terms of honor.) meaning gently, kindly, politely, and with respect and appreciation. وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ (And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy,) means, be humble towards them in your actions. وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا (and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.") means, say this when they grow old and when they die. Ibn `Abbas said: "But then Allah revealed: مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِىِّ وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ أَن يَسْتَغْفِرُواْ لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ (It is not (proper) for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allah's forgiveness for the idolators. ..)" 9:13 There are many Hadiths which speak about honoring one's parents, such as the Hadith narrated through a number of chains of narration from Anas and others, which states that the Prophet climbed up on the Minbar, and then said, ((Amin, Amin, Amin.)) It was said, "O Messenger of Allah, why did you say Amin" He said: «أَتَانِي جِبْرِيلُ فَقَالَ: يَا مُحَمَّدُ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ رَجُلٍ ذُكِرْتَ عِنْدَهُ فَلَمْمُيصَلِّ عَلَيْكَ، قُلْ: آمِينَ، فَقُلْتُ: آمِينَ، ثُمَّ قَالَ: رَغِمَ أَنْفُ رَجُلٍ دَخَلَ عَلَيْهِ شَهْرُ رَمَضَانَ ثُمَّ خَرَجَ فَلَمْ يُغْفَرْ لَهُ، قُلْ: آمِينَ، فَقُلْتُ: آمِينَ، ثُمَّ قَالَ: رَغِمَ أَنْفُ رَجُلٍ أَدْرَكَ وَالِدَيْهِ أَوْ أَحَدَهُمَا فَلَمْ يُدْخِلَاهُ الْجَنَّةَ، قُلْ: آمِينَ، فَقُلْتُ: آمِين» (Jibril came to me and said, "O Muhammad, he is doomed who hears you mentioned and does not say Salla upon you." He said, "Say Amin," so I said Amin. Then he said, "He is doomed who sees the month of Ramadan come and go, and he has not been forgiven." He said, "Say Amin," so I said Amin. Then he said, "He is doomed who grows up and both his parents or one of them are still alive, and they do not cause him to enter Paradise." He said, "Say Amin," so I said Amin.) Another Hadith Imam Ahmad reported from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet said: «رَغِمَ أَنْفُ، ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُ رَجُلٍ أَدْرَكَ أَحَدَ أَبَوَيْهِ أَوْ (كِلَيْهِمَا) عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ وَلَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّة» (He is doomed, he is doomed, he is doomed, the man whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age while he is alive and he does not enter Paradise.) This version is Sahih although no one recorded it other than Muslim. Another Hadith Imam Ahmad recorded Mu`awiyah bin Jahimah As-Salami saying that Jahimah came to the Prophet and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I want to go out to fight and I have come to seek your advice." He said, «فَهَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُم» (Do you have a mother) He said, "Yes." The Prophet said, «فَالْزَمْهَا فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ عِنْدَ رِجْلَيْهَا» (Then stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.) Similar incidents were also recorded by others. This was recorded by An-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah. Another Hadith Imam Ahmad recorded that Al-Miqdam bin Ma`dikarib said that the Prophet said: «إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِآبَائِكُمْ إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ إِنَّ اللهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالْأَقْرَبِ فَالْأَقْرَب» (Allah enjoins you concerning your fathers, Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers, Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers, Allah enjoins you concerning your mothers, Allah enjoins you concerning your close relatives then the next in closeness.) This was recorded by Ibn Majah from the Hadith of `Abdullah bin `Ayyash. Another Hadith Ahmad recorded that a man from Banu Yarbu` said: "I came to the Prophet while he was talking to the people, and I heard him saying, «يَدُ الْمُعْطِي الْعُلْيَا، أُمَّكَ وَأَبَاكَ، وَأُخْتَكَ وَأَخَاكَ، ثُمَّ أَدْنَاكَ أَدْنَاك» (The hand of the one who gives is superior. (Give to) your mother and your father, your sister and your brother, then the closest and next closest.)"

The Believer is Patient with the Affliction and thus gains a Reward Allah informs us that He tests and tries His servants, just as He said in another Ayah: وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ حَتَّى نَعْلَمَ الْمُجَـهِدِينَ مِنكُمْ وَالصَّـبِرِينَ وَنَبْلُوَ أَخْبَـرَكُمْ (And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the cause of Allah) and As-Sabirin (the patient), and We shall test your facts (i.e., the one who is a liar, and the one who is truthful).) (47:31) Hence, He tests them with the bounty sometimes and sometimes with the afflictions of fear and hunger. Allah said in another Ayah: فَأَذَاقَهَا اللَّهُ لِبَاسَ الْجُوعِ وَالْخَوْفِ (So Allah made it taste extreme of hunger (famine) and fear.) (16:112) The frightened and the hungry persons show the effects of the affliction outwardly and this is why Allah has used here the word `Libas' (cover or clothes) of fear and hunger. In the Ayat above, Allah used the words: بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ (with something of fear, hunger,) meaning, a little of each. Then (Allah said), وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الاٌّمَوَالِ (loss of wealth,) meaning, some of the wealth will be destroyed, وَالاٌّنفُسِ (lives) meaning, losing friends, relatives and loved ones to death, وَالثَّمَرَتِ (and fruits,) meaning, the gardens and the farms will not produce the usual or expected amounts. This is why Allah said next: وَبَشِّرِ الصَّـبِرِينَ (but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient).) He then explained whom He meant by `the patient' whom He praised: الَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌ قَالُواْ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّـآ إِلَيْهِ رَجِعونَ (Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.") meaning, those who recite this statement to comfort themselves in the face of their loss, know that they belong to Allah and that He does what He wills with His servants. They also know that nothing and no deed, even if it was the weight of an atom, will be lost with Allah on the Day of Resurrection. These facts thus compel them to admit that they are Allah's servants and that their return will be to Him in the Hereafter. This is why Allah said: t أُولَـئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَتٌ مِّن رَّبْهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ (They are those on whom are the Salawat (i. e., who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His mercy,) meaning, Allah's praise and mercy will be with them. Sa`id bin Jubayr added, "Meaning, safety from the torment." وَأُولَـئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ (and it is they who are the guided ones.) `Umar bin Al-Khattab commented: "What righteous things, and what a great heights. أُولَـئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ صَلَوَتٌ مِّن رَّبْهِمْ وَرَحْمَةٌ (They are those on whom are the Salawat from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His mercy) are the two righteous things. وَأُولَـئِكَ هُمُ الْمُهْتَدُونَ (and it is they who are the guided ones) are the heights." The heights means more rewards, and these people will be awarded their rewards and more. The Virtue of asserting that We all belong to Allah, during Afflictions There are several Ahadith that mention the rewards of admitting that the return is to Allah by saying: إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّـآ إِلَيْهِ رَجِعونَ ("Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.") when afflictions strike. For instance, Imam Ahmad reported that Umm Salamah narrated: Once, Abu Salamah came back after he was with Allah's Messenger ﷺ and said: I heard Allah's Messenger ﷺ recite a statement that made me delighted. He said: «لَا يُصِيبُ أَحَدًا مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ مُصِيبَةٌ فَيَسْتَرْجِعُ عِنْدَ مُصِيبَتِهِ ثُمَّ يقُولُ: اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي وأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا، إِلَّا فَعَلَ ذلِكَ بِه» (No Muslim is struck with an affliction and then says Istirja` when the affliction strikes, and then says: `O Allah! Reward me for my loss and give me what is better than it,' but Allah will do just that.) Umm Salamah said: So I memorized these words. When Abu Salamah died I said Istirja` and said: "O Allah! Compensate me for my loss and give me what is better than it." I then thought about it and said, "Who is better than Abu Salamah" When my `Iddah (the period of time before the widow or divorced woman can remarry) finished, Allah's Messenger ﷺ asked for permission to see me while I was dyeing a skin that I had. I washed my hands, gave him permission to enter and handed him a pillow, and he sat on it. He then asked me for marriage and when he finished his speech, I said, "O Messenger of Allah ﷺ! It is not because I do not want you, but I am very jealous and I fear that you might experience some wrong mannerism from me for which Allah would punish me. I am old and have children." He said: «أمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ الْغَيْرَةِ فَسَوْفَ يُذْهِبُهَا اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ عَنْكِ، وَأَمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ السِّنِّ فَقَدْ أَصَابَنِي مِثْلُ الَّذِي أَصَابَكِ، وَأَمَّا مَا ذَكَرْتِ مِنَ الْعِيَالِ فَإِنَّمَا عِيَالُكِ عِيَالِي» (As for the jealousy that you mentioned, Allah the Exalted will remove it from you. As for your being old as you mentioned, I have suffered what you have suffered. And for your having children, they are my children too.) She said, "I have surrendered to Allah's Messenger ﷺ." Allah's Messenger ﷺ married her and Umm Salamah said later, "Allah compensated me with who is better than Abu Salamah: Allah's Messenger ﷺ." Muslim reported a shorter version of this Hadith.

رَبَّنَآ إِنَّكَ تَعْلَمُ مَا نُخْفِى وَمَا نُعْلِنُ (O our Lord! Certainly, You know what we conceal and what we reveal.) meaning, `You know the intention behind my supplication for the people of this town, seeking Your pleasure in sincerity to You. You know all things, apparent and hidden, and nothing escapes Your knowledge on the earth or in heaven."' He next praised and thanked his Lord the Exalted and Most Honored for granting him offspring after he became old, الْحَمْدُ للَّهِ الَّذِى وَهَبَ لِى عَلَى الْكِبَرِ إِسْمَـعِيلَ وَإِسْحَـقَ إِنَّ رَبِّى لَسَمِيعُ الدُّعَآءِ (All praise is due to Allah, Who has given me in old age Isma'il (Ishmael) and Ishaq (Isaac). Verily, my Lord is indeed the All-Hearer of invocations.) `He accepts the supplication of those who invoke Him, and has accepted my invocation when I asked Him to grant me offspring. ' Ibrahim said next, رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِى مُقِيمَ الصَّلوةِ (O my Lord! Make me one who performs Salah,), preserving its obligations and limits, وَمِن ذُرِّيَتِى (and (also) from my offspring,), make them among those who establish the prayer, as well, رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَآءِ (our Lord! And accept my invocation.), all of my invocation which I invoked You with herein, رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِى وَلِوَالِدَىَّ (Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents,) Ibrahim said this before he declared himself innocent from his father, after he became sure that he was an enemy of Allah, وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ (and the believers), all of them, يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ (on the Day when the reckoning will be established.) on the Day when You will reckon Your servants and recompense or reward them for their deeds - good for good and evil for evil.